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maintaining healthy relationship

February 14, 2003


KEEPING LOVE ALIVE

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) has devised number of methods for creating and enhancing feelings of love and keeping feelings alive once they have developed.
    1. Let your expectations be optimistic but do not let them run riot. Assume that you steadily and contiuingly but not always and ecstatically love.
    2. Plot and scheme some real thinking, emoting and believing effort to maintaining your love feelings and to sometimes enhancing them.
    3. Ask yourself "What do I find and can I continue to find lovable about my partner? What are this partner's good traits that I can focus on? What are the things I can enjoy with him or her? What loving thoughts can I have and what caring things can I do for my beloved?"
    4. Spend sometime thinking and practicing loving feelings that make you feel affectionate, caring, tender, ardent and desirous.
    5. Deliberately act in loving ways to your beloved as sending flowers, saying loving words and telling how much you love him/her.
    6. Plan and carry out mutually enjoyable pursuits with your beloved.
    7. Observe your feelings of anger, irritation, resentment, boredom and frustration with your beloved.
    8. If you desire your beloved to act differently, communicate your desire preferentially and unhostilely and warmly encourage her/him to fulfill it.
    9. If you feel resentful about your beloved look for your authoritarian commandingness.
    10. If you have low LFT look for your musts and shoulds.
    11. Go out of your way to discover what your beloved likes and hates.
    12. Do not be compulsively honest about everything! Silence is often golden, especially when your partner keeps doing irritating things that you can well put up with.
    13. Keep a good sense of humor! Reduce your own overly -serious ideas about your beloved's obnoxious behavior to absurdity.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) has devised number of methods for creating and enhancing feelings of love and keeping feelings alive once they have developed.
    1. Let your expectations be optimistic but do not let them run riot. Assume that you steadily and contiuingly but not always and ecstatically love.
    2. Plot and scheme some real thinking, emoting and believing effort to maintaining your love feelings and to sometimes enhancing them.
    3. Ask yourself "What do I find and can I continue to find lovable about my partner? What are this partner's good traits that I can focus on? What are the things I can enjoy with him or her? What loving thoughts can I have and what caring things can I do for my beloved?"
    4. Spend sometime thinking and practicing loving feelings that make you feel affectionate, caring, tender, ardent and desirous.
    5. Deliberately act in loving ways to your beloved as sending flowers, saying loving words and telling how much you love him/her.
    6. Plan and carry out mutually enjoyable pursuits with your beloved.
    7. Observe your feelings of anger, irritation, resentment, boredom and frustration with your beloved.
    8. If you desire your beloved to act differently, communicate your desire preferentially and unhostilely and warmly encourage her/him to fulfill it.
    9. If you feel resentful about your beloved look for your authoritarian commandingness.
    10. If you have low LFT look for your musts and shoulds.
    11. Go out of your way to discover what your beloved likes and hates.
    12. Do not be compulsively honest about everything! Silence is often golden, especially when your partner keeps doing irritating things that you can well put up with.
    13. Keep a good sense of humor! Reduce your own overly -serious ideas about your beloved's obnoxious behavior to absurdity.


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Ijaz Clinic
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Opposite Circuit House, Lahore, - Pakistan.
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email : shamailaijaz@yahoo.com