myths of love
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1· You can passionately love one, and only one, person at a time.
2· True love lasts forever.
3· Deep feelings of romantic love insure a stable and compatible marriage.
4· Sex without romantic love is unethical and unsatisfying. Sex and love always go together.
5· Romantic love can easily be made to develop and grow in marital relationship.
6· Romantic love is far superior to conjugal love, friendship love, nonsexual love, and other kinds of love, and you hardly exist if you do not experience it intensely.
7· It is necessary to perceive the love all the time to know someone love you.
8· If you lose the person you love romantically you must feel deeply grieved or depressed for a long period of time and cannot legitimately fall in love again until this long mourning period is over.
IRRATIONALITY IN SUPER-ROMANTIC LOVE
1. I must only romantically love one person at a time and I am a phony if I simultaneously love two people.
2. I have to marry only a person I romantically love and will be desolate if he or she does not mate with me.
3. My romantic feeling must last forever and there is something very wrong with me if they fade after a relatively short time. That proves I really did not love.
4. If I do not experience true romantic love, I cannot be satisfied with other kinds of love feelings and will have, at most, only a mildly happy existence.
5. My partner must love me completely and passionately at all times or else he or she doesn't really love me.
6. I must have my beloved's reciprocation or else I am an undeserving, inadequate person.
7. It is horrible to lose my beloved, I can't stand it.
8. If my beloved does not care for me or dies I might die as well.
9. My beloved is the only one in the world for me and his/her love alone can make my life worthwhile.
ENCOUNTERING SUITABLE PARTNERS
As satisfying love relationships are often difficult to find,
because most people are much selective about love than they
are about companionship and sex, and because long-term high
level love partnership are hard to maintain/ literally millions
of would be lovers rarely or never enjoy enduring intimacy.
Social shyness, unassertiveness and fear of rejection are important
blocks to encountering suitable love partners and RET has
always specialized in helping people overcome these blocks. The blocks
come because of irrational beliefs as:
1. I must win the approval of all highly desirable lovers I encounter and I am
pretty worthless if I don't.
2. The partners I select must be considerate and loving to me and they are
rotten people if they aren't.
3· Conditions must be arranged so that I fairly easily meet potential lovers; and
it is awful and I can't stand it if these conditions are difficult and when they
put real blocks in my way.
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